The Spotlight Effect & a Gen-Z Cry

I am sure some of us cannot define this, but most of us or if i’m bold enough, all of us have experienced it at least ones in our lives. The spotlight effect is a psychological phenomena where individuals believe others notice them, particularly their mistakes and embarrassing actions more than they actually do.

Let me first start by saying, i am a proud Gen Z and i would not rather have been born in a different generation, but there is a cancer eating at us, at our very core. We had a perfect blend of childhood and teenage hood before smartphones, social media and the internet consumed and corrupted us. We were happy, we were dreamers, we were brave until all hell broke loose! Like a right of passage, we eventually got smartphones, we were excited while installing social media apps and like sheep in a slaughter house, we could not fathom the sheer depth of what we got into.

A vast and endless sea of people doing better than us. A constant new bar set that we could never reach, like trying to gasp for air while drowning in the deepest oceans with nothing but cold and utter darkness. We quickly learned the new culture, if you don’t have this, can’t afford that or can’t go there you are considered irrelevant. Our worth was suddenly measured by the amount of things we could accumulate, the brand we wore and how many followers we had. It is an endless, useless pursuit of vanity. We were told you can’t speak in that dialect, it’s unforgivably uncool. You can’t walk, talk, smile, laugh, live like that. Our lives were put under a microscope, every inch inspected and critisized. Until all that was left of us, was a shell of who we were meant to be. Now we are left trying to figure out, who the little pieces of ourselves that we still recognize are meant to be.

Our generation is living in the middle of the internet revolution, and AI is developing at an alarmingly terrifing rate everyday! We can barely tell what is real from what is false anymore,( we are gonna get scammed as shit when we are old, God help us all!) You could be about your mary day on a random Tuesday, scrolling and find yourself trending on tiktok or posted on NGC with your crusty lips (you are catching strays, my bad nimejam). My point is, in this current society, the chances of that happening is never at zero. So with all this in mind, the degree at which we feel observed even if we actually are not, increases hence the spotlight effect that is nagging at all of us.

The access we have to a lot of peoples lives and opinions, has cast an incredibly vast shadow on us, we don’t trust our ideas nor our self efficacy. We are constantly worried about whether we fit in, sound cool, learned or experienced enough. If inevitaby we decide we feel insufficient, we shut ourselves away. We stop showing up as our real selves and withdraw from even trying all together. We become nonchalant, mysterious and withdrawn. We stop doing things we used to be good at or enjoy as kids and teens; singing, dancing, drawing, painting, writing, imagining, you name it, i’m sure you can’t, the nonchalance sucked every speck of light in us.

We are the most educated generation, most of us completed high schools, colleges or universities, but why doesn’t it reflect in our lives? Our teachers and parents told us to study and make something out of ourselves, and we did, we got diplomas and degrees. As promised, we expected to get jobs and live the picture perfect life they painted us, but like a slap on our beautiful delicate faces, we were met with ukweli wa mambo kwa ground. A society that constantly pushes us down, because we are too young to be taken as adults and too grown to be cared for as children. Before we get our footing, we are expected to chime in here and there financially at home, like where does it end? Eei shukisha please!

As if that is not enough, we inherited a goverment that would quite literally not careless about us. We have the papers and the knowledge down to a T, but there are no jobs for us! Some of who are lucky to have jobs, most don’t work in areas they studied for. We count our L’s and decide to try our luck in the crowded pool of our county’s social media platforms, but who are we kidding, we all know the statistics on how many eventually make it there. The majority of us are either mocked for trying too hard or due to the classism embedded in the fabric of our society right now, we label them vienyeji.

With the blessing and the curse of social media, we see our agemates in 1st world countries doing immesurably and unapologetically better than us. We are left with the devastating awareness that we are at least 100 steps behind them. They say that Gen Z’s drown in the need for instant gratification, and that is in itself a whole other discussion, but what i will say is, they will never understand how much we grieve for our stolen potential and resources. The deep rooted awareness, about how different the trajectory and course of our lives would have been, have we only been born in a different geographical location. There is no way around it, we were plain and simple robbed of the lives we could have lived!

Now that i have gone on a rant and vented all that, let me give you some unsolicited advice. We have established that we have started this game of life at a deficiency or at -ve, so who will come to save us? Unfortunately dear reader, this is a pit that we did not shove ourselves into but we must sharpen our nails and crawl out of it ourselves. Let us reconnect with who we truly are. With our sharpened stiletto nails, let us dig into the hippocampus part of our brains and remember what we used to love doing as children and teens, before the world set unattainable standards for us. Actively set apart time to do those things and i wholeheartedly believe it will heal a part of our being.

Also be very picky on the media you consume. Social media might be part of the problem but since it’s part of the reality we live in right now, be very vigilant on who or what you let into your internet space. Don’t just watch anything and everything just because it’s on your screen. Follow people who inspire you and make you feel like your dreams are not impossible to achieve. Take social media breaks, you don’t need to always know everything that is going on (FOMO is gonna be the end of us!). Last but not least, uko kadi msee? We can’t be making one step forward and five backward. Let us take this country by its horns and make it work for us!

My bestfriend says our generation is like the Israelites, and as we all know they got to their Canaan and i know so will we. Like the Israelites, we need to recognize who to turn to and call in times like this, and that my friend, is none other than Yahweh! We are fighting a bigger battle here and for us to make it, we are gonna need Him, whether we like it or not. I mean what’s at stake? Oh nothing much, just the whole of our futures and lives!

I leave you with an encouragement that you are not alone, you matter, you are loved and your dreams are not just dreams. Remember the Spotlight Effect is based on us overexaggerating how people actively notice us. Even if they do notice us or our mistakes, it’s never as serious or as bad as we tortue ourselves thinking. So do what you need to do, do it scared, do it with imposter syndrome, do it trembling, just get up and do it! Refuse to sit by and be a witness to other peoples lives while yours passes you by.